I admit it; I am an avid reader of etiquette books.
I want to know what not to do to offend people, and how to ensure I avoid hurting their feelings. This is what etiquette rules were actually intended for; making others feel welcome, relaxed, and comfortable. So imagine my delight when Judith Martin’s column Miss Manners recently elaborated on the topic of what to say to those individuals who are not invited to your wedding.
We all realize that bride’s budgets are limited and guest lists must have limits too. But do friends who are excluded from the big day actually deserve an explanation. Is it enough to simply say “our wedding is small, only family?”
I agree with Miss Manners that “no invitation was issued, no response is necessary.” However, I feel it can’t hurt to pull aside some key people in your life and with sincerity say “I wish my budget allowed us the pleasure of your company.”
People will appreciate your sensitivity, acknowledging they will be missed.
It is always in style to be gracious and honest.